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When I was a kid I was very close to one of my cousin sisters. And like it happens between all best friends, we once had an ugly fight. I don’t remember exactly what the reason was,but I guess it must have been one of those cute little petty reasons of a fight, one could laugh at when they grow up. latter something really awesome happened, that made me forget the reason. I decided to teach her a lesson and declared that I would not to talk to her ever(I find it really cute). It was just like in the movies. I was expecting apologies, and pleading , but on the contrary she didn't care much or so she wanted to show. I still remember that huge childish ego coming up – she doesn't even care that I her best friend won’t be talking to her and it’s my best friend behaving this way with me. The silent treatment continued for a couple of days. It wasn't working very well though, she continued to play her girly games with her stupid girlfriends. Looking back I think, girls could be so mean and insensitive sometimes-ah! Even if the worlds going to end all they would care is play those stupid games and day dream with those dolls. That didn’t stop me from putting up a scene of ‘I don’t give a damn’.
Being in a joint family living in a colony back then(now living separate), I used to visit their house whenever I liked or without any reason – it was like my own house. One day, in the silent treatment I went to her house and saw that she was also present there. We happened to sit near each other. A silent gap.......and then I don’t know how it started but we began to start laughing like we had heard the funniest joke of the century.
It was the happiest kind of laugh I ever had. We never discussed about the fight or said sorry to each other. The fermented and hardened feelings within us just melted away in an instant, there was no making up required. After some heart filling, stomach aching laugh we went out and we talked - same old child like things the best friends talk - everything else seemed so small to even consider talking about it. That day unconsciously, I took a silent vow to myself that I shall never bring us into this situation again.
It’s so hard to do the same thing now - neither do I hate someone 100% nor do I make up for the misunderstandings with the people I call friends. It’s so stupid to keep silly little things between friends. I want laugh like that again. I don’t want to keep anything in my heart now. If you are a friend reading this then just know I want to forget and want you to forget any unpleasant things that has happened between us. I mean it and advice you to do the same to your friends.
JGD
An encounter with an angry drunkard was my destiny but staying calm and walking away even though I was hit was my choice. I was tired and was searching for BSNL service centre when an angry looking man was charging at me as his friend was trying to stop him. I was still walking unconscious that the man (I presume drunk and highly stressed) was shouting at me. Within a short while however he managed to grab my attention by giving me a blow on my left arm- ouch! It hurt that was only initial impact, the complete effect of which is not felt at that instance, but aggravated within few minutes. That’s when I realised how much powerful that hit was and how weak I am. So this fellow was being kept in control by his friend and that fellow also tried to apologise when I was walking past without giving any heed to any of them when another hit from nowhere landed on me this time by some other highly stressed pressure vessel. It wasn’t that hard, it missed me but I still managed to walk like a zombie past this commotion. I just remembered the belongingness fundaes from the advance course and asked myself ‘can you love a person this bad? ’. The answer made it easier for me to accept the situation and take the best action.
They didn’t pursue me any further but a little while after that people around stated asking about what had happened and sympathising. Not sure of what to make of this incident I just smiled all the way. This is not the first time I had dealt with a drunkard, and the first time I realised that these people just can’t be persuaded by reason. This time I Just walked away in silence and nothing much happened, but in a similar encounter few months ago I was all set to show that guy a few of my martial arts tricks which of course were only a by-product of my interest in TV and movies. I was panicking and angry and had received a slap on my face, thanks to me acting cool thinking that I could enlighten him of the exact situation. He had his friend and we were three of us so I thought, this is going to be easy even If he looked much more powerful and mad than me. Things turned out differently than I thought, and my friends began persuading him of our meek situation (that we are just college student etc.), during which he managed to hit my cycle with his bike he was on and I managed to kick the silencer of his bike and made him angrier. In the end I realised that these people are just plain stupid they just can’t be persuaded.
One very important thing I realised was it’s not a good idea to get involved in a brawl if you don’t understand what the other person is speaking. A similar thing happened long time ago when I was new to Chennai and was sitting in ladies seat day dreaming in an MTC bus and this lady is shouting at the top of her voice, me however not noticing for a long while that it was me she was addressing to - ladies here especially the one who look like vendors can really be rough and stupid. They really have no idea about what politeness is though their whole business depends on it.
I learned that I have become stronger and realised the clarity that walking in this path has brought to me. I also learned I have become stronger physically too. For that I could start of by going home in vacation and having a proper diet for sometime at least. Comment if you’ve had a similar experience, what you did and what you think is best.
JGD
“Somebody here wants to sing, ” he said looking at the row where I was sitting and immediately hands went up all over. All I could do was freeze in shock. I had just witnessed one of the most unexpected and happy moment of my life, of course I didn’t sing, it was too much for me to take. It was a grand beginning of the advance course for me. Sriranjini however got to sing for him, she sung what I believe was her favorite and it is the song that usually blows our mind of – it was Vikram Hazra’s Radhe Shyam bhajan.
The satsung was filled with more amazing stuff in the form of knowledge by Guruji. He had a message for the politicians, for both the wining and the losing parties. The dissatisfaction over the final verdict was obvious, winning of congress though was likely, was not desirable by Art of Living community. Guruji’s Knowledge couldn’t be more relieving and meaningful. From what I recall the message for the wining party was to treat the losing party with humility. It was because losing party that they won- by thinking like this they could develop the humility for the losing party. While in battle be fierce but after battle has ended the intense feeling of anger towards the other party should also end. The losing party should shed their anger and frustration and welcome the decision as the will of god. The wining party should also review and take action so that the mistakes committed earlier should not be done again. It was a blissful way to end a day this way, each day of the advance course.
This time I forgot to bring my cap to the advance course, but you know I’m naturally evolved to attend advance courses. I have this ability to be able to walk like a king, head up and wearing an elaborate smile without making any eye contacts, or judgments and to get one step closer to natural self by just remove my spectacles.
The course was filled with amazing knowledge and processes as usual, which leaves you wanting for more. It started as usual with the ‘I belong to you’ process, except that this time I did with a real feeling of belongingness. I gained a deeper understanding of what belongingness means and what witness consciousness is. I am looking forward to what I would learn the next time already. This course felt like it was contracted, I felt that some new processes were added and some were removed. Time flies
The moment, which we were all waiting for, came when we came out of silence. Dinesh bhaiya informed us that Guruji would be granting us an audience. Again I felt the same feeling as I feel always when he is this close. It’s the devastating feeling of something similar to sorrow. I didn’t have any idea what it was, why it arises, is it because of the longing, is it guilt that I should have done more, or should have done something significant to be in this situation, or is it the feeling of insignificance of my egoistic desires against presence of such a person in front of me. Again I went blank no questions, no desires, the desire to know about this feeling also subsided soon and what remained was a feeling of gratefulness when he left.
A few tips for the people who are going to the June advance course-
Keep your intellect aside for the 5 days
Follow every instruction innocently
Observe the play of your mind
Become a happy zombie when you are in silence
Thoroughly enjoy both the pain and joy.
Jai Gurudev
Love you Guruji
1:27 in the morning...what can you be doing at this time, if sleeping doesn’t fit farly into the category of the few interesting things that can be done. Do what ever but defenitly do not watch ‘Oye lucky! Lucky Oye’ if at all there is an expectation of getting sleep while seeing a movie is lurking in your mind. Because neither will it let you sleep neither until the end nor after it, till a good amount of time. Hopelessly trying to sleep after watching this 2hr long movie, I decided writing a review might help.
It tells us a story of a master charming thief (Lucky) who also is a very innocent guy. Somewhat like ‘Bunty’ in ‘Bunty aur Babli’ but way more refined and loveable. Lucky steals anything he likes be it merc or audio system even a dog, whatever he feels can make his lavish living more interesting. He has dreams not becoming rich but living like a filthy rich. Abhay deol does justice to the main charater ‘lucky’ and another attraction was Paresh Rawal’s triple acting. The direction is very creative and impressive. It has both traditional ways of direction like the flash backs as well as creative, like a single person representing three charecters. People have widely mistaken it as a comedy due to the thirple acting which can be seen in comedy movies, but it’s a movie which is very well crafted. I guess no one had a clue that this kind of movie can even be made in bollywood. Some parts of it might be comical, but it comes only as a part of the story and not the plot as it is done in a comedy or typical bolywood masala movies. It is a work of fiction inspired many lives including his own and hence has a biographical stint. It is similar to Stephen Spielberg’s ‘Catch me If you can’, but set in Indian backgoround and focussing on life of a thief rather than than the intelligence behind catching him.If ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ could get Oscar this movie deserves more than it.
I specially appreciate the cast chosen by the director. He hasn’t gone for bigshots, which is done in a typical commecial movie; rather he has chosen hard working (in one of the news report he mentioned this as one of the reasons for chosing non stars over star actors) and right people, which has worked out perfectly. Overall it’s a must see for story and acting.
the most joyful part of my life seems to be screwed up like never before. Yet i dont care, I have lost the ability to panic to be stressed but i have not learned how to be centered without it. The idea of how to be centered seems very vague. Fearlessness and carelessness, i found them to be a deadly combination. this state of mind i feel is what people call over confidence.I have become more committed to seva, I have derived satisfaction like never before, forgetting about the anything else completely and most conveniently. Like guruji said all other matters seems unimportant. Its thuch(the best word I can imagine for my expression), seems foolish to attend to.
I became
a little more clear and a lot more confused,
a little more aware and a lot more unaware,
a little more centered and a lot more unbalanced
a little more interesting and a lot more boring,
a little more enthusiastic and a little more dull,
a little more creative and a lot more idle,
a more sensitive and a lot more rude,
a somewhat happy and somewhat depressed.
so careless that the schedule of my lab exam slipped out of my memory most conveniently. So fearless that I wrote exams without preparing for it.
Now for the consequences- I have got 0 first time in my life- I don't care about it why do people give it so much importance. It just means that I'm a misfit I need to do things differently than what I am doing. I need to be more responsible.
Result of being aware- I became aware that I'm unaware most of the time. And what does that make me feel- sad, frustrated, longing for the centeredness. And surprisingly I have come to a level that I observe that when I notice these things happening I just drop them, they don't matter any more. I come to a realisation that I need to be more centered, and guess what that make me- more centered and aware. But does that make me what I want to be- still far from it. I guess it's only time that matters.
I have involved my self in activities like 'free hug seva', 'voting campaign' at the cost of the time in which i could have studied or see movies, which I usually do- time for studies- not defined in my dictionary. Which brings me to the realisation that if you dont have something in your dictionary most likely you wont understand it . If you don't define your goals, your wants, your somethings which seems to matter then its impossible to get there. Its like you think you know but you don't even know that you don't know. And will I define everything from now on- defining everything is not yet defined in my dictionary.I guess that brings me to clarity- so if have defined things and i'm clear, then why is it that its not working out. There are a lot more things that I have no clue about. The assumptions i make don't take into account these things. By making mistakes I only become aware of these things more closely. So does that mean i have to make more mistake to learn all these, i.e if you are ready to learn from mistakes.
Commitment is one thing that can clear up jargons. If you want to even learn from the mistake you have to be sure that you mistake correctly. You stay committed to something, may be things which you wont even believe. But in the end it can only make you realise the minute things, those subtle impressions that are not set in the right way.
So I put my commitment in making myself interesting by being strong natural, not getting caught in what other think of you. I attend this Yes+ course as a volunteer and I get comments like 'you look divine'(that was after advance course, not anymore- I look hideous these days) and 'you have an intense personality' which indicated what i already had in mind. But so by being dull i.e not showing of, or reacting how the crowd wants me to react or what make the crowd react, I just remained with myself which actually made me more interesting. I didn't care how or what I wanted to talk when I talked to someone. Just realised that I dont care nether do they so be silent or as guruji says just talk knowledge.
I wanted to be creative, I started writing poems, Blogging, and learning flute. I did what I loved to do. I hung out with people I like and didn't care of the exam the next day. In Narada Bhakti Sutras it is said 'never miss an opportunity to be with good company' so I prefered hanging out rather than studying. But what I missed was the definition of good company. And when I wanted to be more creative I sat thinking, since I thought thinking was an essential part creating. Now i realise implementing is also a part. Which I never cared- that make me idle.
I became more sensitive to myself which made me rude towards few things- sometimes friends, sometimes traffic, sometimes angry over myself for forgetting things. Aggression has become a part of me since i started the experiment. The experiment was 'Anger management' i.e get angry even if you don't mean to or at times when you usually don't get angry. That has taken toll of my peace of mind and I regretted it for quite a while. But I have gained a lot in the process- Like using aggression where required- not getting bogged down by rejections and handling criticism and humiliation. I can't return back to my old not confident self with the aggression i have now. I just have to accept it now.
I have been enthusiastic in seva activities and dull in room activities- studies.
The seva has brought me enormous joy and satisfaction but I have not been committed to things that make others things important. The failure to take care of these new things which I have categorized as not important Depression take over. This depression strangely has lost intensity it doesn't stay for a long time but does one thing I hate- forgetfulness of knowledge, the self which i have no idea about but sometime I feel that this is the state I want to be in forever or faith that in this path sometime I'm going to be the one I want to be-broadminded, responsible, sensitive, calm and composed and most importantly to be with a Guru. That bring me to the last realisation of this post- that we blow out of proportion these negative things rather than giving attention to the positive. So what does that make me- Happy- which i usually forget.
Please comment if you have come this far.
JGD
Youth campaign to encourage voting
A group of college students fread more...
Here whats my idea of adventure, service and having fun. If even 100 people in a city take responsibility to change and transform it nothing can stop it from happening. We need youth with calm mind, sharp intellect, unshakable commitment and faith to take India forward. Are you with us?
I am going to start a new column types posts to share those tinny winny habits which has got me into huge troubles but always has been a part of me. And when I think about it in this perspective I feel a certain thankfulness towards these quirks of mine.
So lets me start with the one that just inspired me to start this and is the most common of all our nasty habits. So what's coming to your mind-The first thing that comes to mind is our adorable habit of staying absolutely blissfully unaware of where we put our things- the habit of forgetting. Ironically this is what most of us are reminded of when actually it itself is the cause.
We must all have been in a situation when we have searched for it(anything that seems to be more important than our life at that moment and seems to have been misplaced)in all the places we logically derived where it would be, even put our hands in the dustbin to see if it's there- no,then open the door of the fridge- obviously no "but may be I just did 'that' and 'this' and may be 'that' so then 'that's how it could have come here".....now we are too frustrated to think anything else but somehow we think of eating and then it strikes again-the memory attack now we forget what we were searching for. Desperately connecting the links from whatever action we remember we did we try to trace back- "what is it i was searching for", we go nowhere and give up...hmmmmmmm...then something strikes in our mind "oh I have to do this I need 'this' for 'that' so I was searching for 'this'".Now suddenly, out of complete faith in the amazingly enchanting phenomena the chaos the embodiment of no reasons and by the realisation of how careless we can be are and how lucky we must be to get it under the- table, bed, almirah, fridge, lumps of books we never touched, but no, didn't even leave flower vase and other unimaginable places for 'that' to be under only to find it right under the nose- it is what we are clutching to,now what is it in my pocket. When we are so tensed, or so cool there are these places where unconsciously we tend to put things and forget- our pockets or besides the things we were working on like laptops or inside the books.
At one time I was searching for my spectacles wearing them. I have left my mobile in places and forgotten about them, though I realise it soon and I'll be able to find them(since it has become one of our basic necessities in the modern world). I was supposed to get my laptop to a session(i.e NBS- that's for people who know whats NBS)and realise that I haven't got my laptop only in the venue. Once I also had forgotten that there was this session and that the people were waiting for me to come, because they depended on my laptop. As I was writing this post(the first few lines) I forgot that I have kept my bag right behind me and later I was searching for it and got spooked by the possibility that I must have left it somewhere else and thinking that now its going to be lost.
Every time I get into trouble I almost swear to myself that this is not going to happen again, only to find that it's just going to be another one of those resolutions I've been taking from 15 years. But why do I feel grateful for it now. It's because whenever this quirk of mine has got me into trouble I have always grown more. It revealed that, the things that are actually important and things which I give importance to are very different, the things which I am supposed to remember and the things for which I need to keep a reminder are totally different. The things that are important are those which I can't forget in any situation- the wisdom, the feeling of gratefulness. The things which I should always remember- that I am taken care of, I'm not this body I'm the self, I'm the joy, I'm the peace and the human values without which some people forget that they are human and that nothing else is more precious and important than life. The things that people usually give significance to- money, fame and pride and the thing that are to be pondered on- the purpose of life, what do I actually want, who am I. The responsibilities- towards parents and colleagues and the false behavior people put. The duties towards the society and the carelessness that plague the people. Whenever I have faced trouble due to the things which are i give importance to I have learned that I should give importance to that which actually matter the most. I'm just grateful for this habit of mine it has made me differentiate between what is and what should be.
I just came up with this new way of presenting a review of a movie. I'm sure most of us movie freaks have faced situations where a highly ranked and appreciated movie wont match to our expectations. This new way of presenting a review i believe is likely to overcome these issues. But I believe that watching a movie without having any expectations gives maximum joy. But for the movie freaks this might work out well. I'll start with the review of the movie 'Seven Pounds'.
Story-Intriguing, moving. slow paced. 7/10
direction and screenplay- exceptional nothing out of normal. 8/10
acting-exceptional. 7/10
mood- not very involving and remains boring depressing for sometime.
genre-drama
runtime-(don't have enthu to find out. but will be useful).
imdb rank-(no enthu to find out).
my ranking- 7/10
plot synopsis-
A happy and sensitive man's life has taken a different turn after losing his beloved in an accident due to his an unfortunate error committed. He finds a way to get salvation from his guilt as memories haunt him.
Do tell me what you feel about this post and if there's any other issue to be considered.
Seva can’t be done for satisfaction but it brings satisfaction. I feel the seva is just another natural activity which has been made out of trend. Sharing joy or sorrow is also part of our nature but the trend today is to talk ill of others behind their backs. I’m sure most of us agree that a person should be share, care, control anger, should love everyone but it simply is not the trend. If doing seva is bringing you stress then that is not the true seva. Seva can never bring sadness. If you are sad then it is because of the attitude of seva you have. Seva is natural, repetitive and joyful. When we do something which is very close to our heart and which might not have any apparent reason and without expectations the satisfaction it brings is enormous.
What stops us from being natural is the ego, the ego which is out of place. When a saint expresses his ego in the form of orders he gives his disciples to spread the knowledge he has given to them, people usually think that he is promoting himself and that he wants fame. With the kind of impossible things they do and the love for silence they have, it somehow doesn’t seem logical to me that they would want attention or the company of their disciples. The people who criticize them of being fame hungry egoists are the same who normally take pride in showing off to the people around them their accomplishments, the service activities which they might have done and in their ideas, principles and concepts which don’t have any depth. They some how find it very disturbing when an enlightened person praises himself, they simply can’t take it.
People sometimes do seva to get good karma, which in itself beats the purpose of seva. Though the result of a seva is definite, they miss out the most fulfilling results of all which is more important than any good karma. This part of seva is the fulfilment itself. The belongingness is what I believe brings the contentment.
Intellectual type, thriller
Slumdog millionaire
Death note live action
Seven
The Inside man(my fav)
Oceans Series
Saw1
Shawshank Redemption
Silence of the Lambs
The Butterfly Effect
The illusionist
The Fight Club
The sixth Sense
21
Mind Hunters(not well made-no proper actors but good)
Acting
The Fight club
The Departed
The Infernal affairs series
Oceans Series
Titanic
Blood Diamond
The Last King Of Scotland
Troy(beyond words)
The Crouching tiger hidden dragon
The hero(jet lee)
Fearless
What women want
Few good men
Good luck Chuck
Good Concept,Makes you think or oscar type
Beautifull mind
Perfume(i simply loved it)
Forest Gump
The Dance of the wolves
Gran Torino
The Truman show
Crash
Death Race
Little miss sunshine
The Man from Earth
300
The War of Worlds
Catch me if you can
The Aviator
V for Vendetta
The Matrix
The Changeling(2008)
Amelie
Good luck chuck
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
No Country for old men
Big Fish
Classic type
12 angry men
Fantasy
Lord of the ring
Harry Potter
Comedy, just for laughs
Pink panther-1
Rumble in The Bronkx(the best)
Rush Hour
Mr bean's holiday
Speed Racer
Get smart
The Love Guru(must watch)
The Pirates of the carribean
The Men In Black
Amelie
My Sassy girl
The Euro trip
The yes man
Scary movie series
Action
Spider Man series 1-3(my fav)
Terminator-1&2
Mummy(1&2)
Casino Royale
Die Hard 4
Bourne series
Mistes and misses smith
District B13(awesome)
Kill Bill(my fav)
Transporter series
Death Race
Gone in 60 Seconds
Tokiyo Drift- fast and the furious
300
Behind the enemy lines 1
The Crouching tiger hidden dragon
The hero(jet lee)
Fearless
Horror
Blairwitch project
28 days later
28 weeks later
Resident Evil 1
The final destination
Happy endings, feeling vise, Romantic
28 days later
The Ghost town
Bend It like beckam
Mamma Mia
August rush(not great)
The french kiss
The truman show
The Yes man
The.Pursuit.Of.Happyness[2006]
Inspirational
The Great Debaters
The World's Fastest Indian
The Inconvenient Truth(my fav)
Man On the Moon
The.Pursuit.Of.Happyness[2006]
Animation
Advent Children- final fantasy
Madagaskar 1&2
The monsteer house
The Simpson's movie (super awesome)
The incredibles
Ice Age 1&2(my fav)
Beowulf
Walace and Grommit
Horton Heard a who
Kungfu Panda
Truths Type or truth about life
The Schindler's list
The.Pursuit.Of.Happyness(my fav)
The Wrestler
Blood Diamond
The Last King Of Scotland
The inconvenient truth